By Ivan Fernando
On November 8th everything changed. Americans voted to entirely repudiate the legacy of our first African-American President, Barack Hussein Obama, and to elect racist, sexist, bigoted, dangerous pathological narcissist Donald J. Trump, as President of the United States of America. My eyes are filled with tears as I write this and my heart is filled with sorrow. In times like this, I ask myself, is life worth living? Like so many progressives, I even contemplated throwing away my own life on that fateful night. Words cannot begin to express the pain, the hopelessness, and the fear, that progressives all around the world are feeling right now, as we tremble dreading the future.
In response to this unacceptable outrage, progressives are demanding that this offensive election outcome be overturned in the name of preserving America’s Democracy! Of course, that is very unlikely to happen. Tragically, and inexplicably, Hillary Clinton has conceded the election to Trump, and President Obama has even invited the racist beast to the White House. Americans may think that they can vote for whoever they want, however they will pay a very serious price when they choose to vote for racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and anti-Semitic candidates! A very serious price indeed, I assure you!
A group of America’s most talented celebrities, including actors and musicians have joined together to form the “Not Our Country Anymore Committee.” Their purpose is to find an acceptable new country or countries for America’s most brilliant and talented celebrities. America has shown that it is a racist and backward country. The American people have openly embraced and chosen hatred rather than love. Not even porn stars offering sex with Hillary voters, were able to dissuade Americans from their determined hateful course. Americans must be made to pay for that choice, they must be made to suffer for it. Fortunately, celebrities of compassion and conscience have decided to ensure that just that very thing happens, as they vow to leave the United States for good!
Unfortunately, celebrities are divided as to where to go. Jon Stewart, Cher and others favor Communist Cuba, voicing their powerful dislike of the American system. Some more moderate celebrities like Katy Perry and Neve Campbell feel that Canada is the best future home for them and their talents. Yet others, are coming to the view that Mexico would be an ideal choice, in solidarity with the Mexican people, who have been greatly wounded by Donald Trump’s Anti-Latino hate filled and venomous rhetoric. This last choice would also have the benefit of dispelling racist notions about the alleged third world status of Mexicans. Yet other celebrities, including George Clooney are suggesting that they don’t have to leave, they claim instead that California ought to leave the United States and secede from the Union!
Some celebrities have even floated the idea of going to the worker’s paradise of North Korea, because Trump has singled out and denounced that country in the past, calling Kim Jong-un a “madman” and a “maniac.” According to anonymous sources, these celebrities have enlisted Dennis Rodman as an ambassador to present their request for citizenship to Kim Jong-un. According to insider sources, at least four prominent Hollywood celebrities, and two directors, have stated that they are prepared to swear their allegiance to the Great General and even to help him produce anti-American propaganda films. Progressive Americans have always felt a great spiritual kinship with Marxist – Leninist – Stalinist regimes around the world, and sadly most of those regimes are no longer with us!
The “Not Our Country Anymore Committee” has stated that they believe a stronger statement can be made if all of the celebrities vowing to leave the US can agree on a common future destination. Hollywood film studios can also relocate to the new destination so that it will never be necessary to return to the US. The committee continues to debate the matter, and vows that they will reach a decision before Donald Trump’s inauguration.
The complete list of celebrities vowing to leave the US includes:
Samuel L. Jackson
And numerous others…
The committee issued a statement denouncing Susan Sarandon for refusing to endorse and vote for Hillary Clinton. She opted instead to endorse Jill Stein of the Green Party. The statement noted that “by doing so, Sarandon has renounced her humanity, taken leave of her conscience, and exposed her true fascist convictions for all to see. Make no mistake, a vote for anyone other than Hillary Clinton was a vote for Donald Trump, period! As celebrities of conscience, we refuse to work with Susan Sarandon ever again. We condemn anyone who claims to be fighting racism, oppression or poverty, who failed to vote for Hillary Clinton, and we brand them as fascist collaborators who must be shunned, and treated as non-persons.”
In a move that has been denounced by the radical-right, the committee also stated that “If another progressive is ever elected president of the US, we demand that he/she/ze revoke the right to vote from all whites, so that a racist president can never again be elected. Whites have shown that they cannot be trusted to vote for the right candidate, or even a human candidate, instead choosing racist, sexist, homophobic fascist beasts all too often.” Vowing to fight intolerance, the committee is currently creating a list of celebrities who voted for, or are suspected of voting for Trump. The list will be submitted to Twitter, Facebook, and other social media, along with a request to cancel their accounts on grounds of hate speech, because they supported Donald Trump. We must have no tolerance for the intolerant!
The committee will be holding a “We Hate Racist Voters” rally this Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday the event will open with a benediction from the Rev. Al Shaprton, who will tearfully pray for America and the world. Afterwards, a nearly nude Miley Cyrus will be wearing a giant prosthetic penis, and a hat made entirely of condoms, as she vows to put on a “tasteful Trump hating show that will trump hate with love.”
Sunday night George Lopez will be doing stand up comedy, ridiculing, mocking, and reviling what he calls the “ignorant, inbred, ugly, good for nothing, white American sacks of shit who voted for that racist woman hating, Muslim hating, and most of all Mexican hating orange skinned tub of shit with a blonde wig on!” In a remark that stirred some controversy Lopez stated that he would offer “A free kick in the ass.” To anyone who voted for Trump. According to Lopez “That includes old white women, if a 90 year old white grandma voted for Trump I’ll kick her wrinkly old ass down a mother fucking storm drain! I’m not fucking around here! I’ll fuck you up old woman! You stupid racist sexist white cunt! Fuck you Trump voters! Fuck you! Me and my hombres will fuck you up! We really are bad dudes like Trump said!”
The purpose of the event is to attempt to shame electors into voting for Hillary, rather than Trump, despite the election outcome, in a last ditch effort to prevent him from taking office as president and imposing fascism, as well as to raise funds for the moving celebrities expenses. Progressives from around the United States will be streaming into Los Angeles for the two day event. Tickets will be available for $ 200.00 for adults, and $100.00 for children, seniors, students, and the disabled.
When asked for his comment on the plan of celebrities to leave the US Donald Trump first posted “I’ll help you pack! Good riddance. Get out!” Only to post almost 24 hours later “I will be president for all Americans including those who did not vote for me. I am saddened to learn that many of America’s great celebrity talents are contemplating leaving the US. I would like to invite these celebrities to meet with me at the White House so that I may address their concerns. I also ask that they give me six months before making up their minds about my presidency. My wife Melania would also like to do some public service ads with them, so we can address shared concerns like cyber bullying.” Yes, ironically Melania is concerned with cyber bullying, one of her husband’s favorite pastimes!
Some racist reactionaries are doubting that celebrities will truly leave the US. “They are just blowing smoke. I think they are all talk!” said Erik Thorson, leader of the notorious racist hate group the “Europa Unitas Movement.” Mr. Thorson went on to note. “I only wish it were true. They won’t leave, because they stand to lose lots of money. The truth is they’d rather live here and continue to make movies. These people are nothing but thoughtless air heads. I would be shocked if even one of them left! I dare them to do it!” Mr. Thorson’s deplorable website advocates white supremacy, chauvanism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and uses racist pseudo-science, and out of context statistics, in an attempt to provide an intellectual veneer for his bigotry based on color.
Trying to make sense out of this maddening travesty, some progressive columnists have claimed that the media failed to properly warn the American people as to Trumps racism. Mr. Thorson had this to say in response. “That’s a load of BS and you know it! They mocked, reviled, and insulted Donald Trump daily, on TV, in articles, in magazines, in newspapers, and on all the major liberal news websites! The voters knew what you thought, and they said we don’t agree. They said they hate the media! Get it straight! Have a modicum of humility, and consider some introspection.”
Many are asking what Hillary Clinton will be doing in order to get through this very difficult time. Reportedly, Hillary has retreated with some of her closest friends and advisors to the home of a friend for a special one week long “Spirit Cooking” event. While detractors have claimed that spirit cooking involves devil worship, they couldn’t be further from the truth. It is a progressive form of performance art that merely incorporates some edgy occult and anti-Christian themes. Psychologists say that there is nothing inherently unhealthy in writing messages on the wall using animal blood, or in actors posing as human corpses with their organs spilling out, indeed such things are all part of a very healthy fantasy life and a normal adult imagination. In short, it is art!
Here at Diversity Chronicle, we have been inundated with e-mails from around the world, as progressives ask “what can I do to stop Trump?” I would like to answer that question. Progressives should agree to renounce violence entirely, as violence will only be seized upon by the racist Trump as a pretext to unleash mass blood-letting. Progressives should peacefully march in protest of President Trump. They should burn American flags, and wave Mexican, LGBTQ, and Muslim Shahada flags, in protest. They should wear rainbow colored clothing, or cross-dress, they should purchase megaphones and denounce whites, heterosexuals, Christians, and Americans. These groups squarely deserve the blame for the election of Donald Trump, America’s most racist president in history!
Indeed, just mere days after his election, Muslims report being bullied across the United States. A young Muslim boy named Asad reports that when he told his entire 5th grade class that he was ashamed to live in a country that elected a racist for president, one youth shouted “why don’t you go back to your own country then.” This kind of hateful divisive rhetoric has no place in America. Because of Trump, racists now feel emboldened to express their venomous and loathsome views! Simply calling a regressive a racist is no longer sufficient to silence them! It isn’t working anymore, and that is probably the worst development to come out of this.
Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered youth report being picked on, and bullied by the children of Trump voters. America’s college students are unable to study for tests or concentrate in school, they are depressed and terrified because of Donald Trump! Even coloring book therapy, therapy dogs, and cry-ins haven not been able to provide them with any consolation, so great is their emotional and mental anguish. American cities are engulfed in flames, rioters are breaking store windows in rage, Mr. Trump if you have even a slight modicum of humanity left in you, won’t you step down, in order to prevent further suffering? Of course he won’t, he’s a monster! Mr. Trump you are a deplorable, sub human beast, you and your voters do not deserve the rights and freedoms that are accorded to Americans! Trump voters are less than human!
America represents ideas rather than any kind of white or western identity. It is about the idea of tolerance, and the idea of embracing diversity. Any person, of any race, religion, or sexual orientation, anywhere in the world, who loves freedom, who believes in equal rights for all, and who embraces diversity is an American. Mr. Trump, you and your voters are not Americans! It ought to be you and your fans leaving the United States, instead of our precious and talented celebrities! You are a vicious racist, hate-mongering and woman-hating fascist!
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